The Worst Collaborations of The Year

I fucking love collabs. I’m always pressed to see the latest and greatest from the hottest and sexiest designers on earth. Usually, the collaborators are able to fuse their talents together and make something exquisite. Every now and then though, they squander their talent and pump out something that looks like hot dookie. So without further ado, this week we will be recounting the absolute worst and ugliest collaborations of 2019.

Number 10

Undercover x Off-White

Undercover is one of the most influential and consistently fantastic houses in fashion. Jun Takahashi since 1993 has been leading Undercover on an unstoppable killstreak. Every year Undercover is able to pump-out flawless collection after collection, with some tasteful collaborations sprinkled in. This year though, they finally got brought down. Right before they were able to call in their UAV, Off-White stepped in to help them produce an absolutely atrocious collection. This collection featured some of the most embarrassing prints and logos I have ever seen. The staple print was a picture of a crying skeleton. Kinda clean at first glance, until you google “crying skeleton” and it’s the first stock image that pops up. Embarrassing. Featured on most pieces is the name “UnderOffWhiteCovers.” Say that shit five times fast huh. I’m gonna throw up *throws up*. Oh no, I gotta clean up, uh on to the next one.

Number 9

Hot Wheels x Anti Social Social Club

Anti Social Social Club, or ASSC, is one of the most ridiculous brands on earth. It sucks ass, I hate it. Their prints are lazy and one dimensional. I can’t believe they had enough brainpower to produce more than one collection. I was appalled when I saw their collaboration with Hot Wheels. There was no creative effort put in at all. The car they made was ugly and tacky. Toy car collaborations have been done before and much better. The apparel was just as bad. They just threw a Hot Wheels logo on top of their own logo and printed in on the back of a sweatshirt. Don’t buy this shit, just print your own stupid, ugly, dumb, idiotic, ridiculous, goofy, hideous hoodie at home. This collaboration was so one dimensional and lazy, shame on you Hot Wheels, I thought better of you.

Number 8

Adidas AM4’s Raptor 2019

Where do I even start? Maybe the ugliest silhouette of all time. The AM4 is a running shoe produced by Adidas featuring a knit upper, and Boost midsoles. The shoe on its own is unbearable, but what makes it even worse in the myriad of terrible collaborations they did this year. The worst offender was the AM4 produced for the 2019 NBA champions, the Toronto Raptors. Imagine winning the NBA championship, and some scrub, in a full Adidas tracksuit books it over, to hand you this ugly ass shoe. I would bend over and take a full shit right in the shoe. That is the treatment this shoe deserves. I never want to see this shoe produced, sold, or given to anyone ever. Adidas this is your final warning.

Number 7

Bape x DC

Oof. If you own any post-Nigo Bape you’re a certified clown. Collaborations like this prove that Bape is now one of the worst brands on the market. They will literally collaborate with anyone. This collection of hoodies and jackets they released for DC though, was even worse than what I could have pictured. They designed this ugly collection of asymmetrical hoodies that feature a batman, or superman logo with respective colors on one side, and a Bape camo print on the other. The hoodies are so wack. They are designed for like five-year-old kids. The jackets they released are so lazily designed too. Aesthetically they are not as ugly as the hoodies, but they only feature a DC superhero logo on the chest. There is no special Bape design or print added. What a waste of money, don’t buy this trash.

Number 6

Kaws x Uniqlo

You are a scrub if you own any piece from the second year of their collaboration. They squandered a chance at making something creative and interesting, and we got stuck with prints rehashed from the year before. Disappointing and lazy!

Number 5

Bape x MCM

This is torture. Looking at any piece from this collection gives me an aneurysm. The bags from this collab literally look like spray grounds bags. I had to do a double-take when I first laid eyes on this monstrosity, I honestly did not believe this collaboration was real. This is an absolute fail at a hood classic, I cannot wait to see clowns sporting this in Hyde Park on my way to the YMCA. The tees and hoodies are awful as well. Who would ever wear a big fat Baby Milo print colored in with an MCM monogram? Who would ever wear MCM period? I wish I was on the conference call for this collaboration so I could hear the designers giggling about the trash they were going to produce. If you ever see anyone wearing a piece from this collection comment and let me know so I can personally kick their ass.

Number 4

Faze Clan x Champion

This never needed to happen.

Number 3

Prada x Adidas

Bahahahahaha. What were they thinking? I’ve been brainstorming all day long about how to systematically clown this collaboration. This collaboration exists because Prada and Adidas believe that there are headasses that want superstars made of Italian leather. This is one of the most ridiculous ideas I have ever heard. This is literally an idea I would come up with on my own as a joke. Who would ever wear a superstar made of genuine high-quality Italian leather? Real Superstars aren’t even made of real leather; they are a budget shoe. Buying a pair of Prada x Adidas Superstars is like buying a pair of Puma Suedes, made of real suede. The only reason you would buy these would be to get laid. This shoe is designed for sex-core heads; shout out my boys who can dress. Stay away from this shoe, or don’t, and waste $350 on the wackest shoe of the year.

P.S. The purse sucks ass too

Number 2

Bape x PUBG

International gaming sensation, Player Unknown Battle Grounds, took the world by storm, especially China and India. This game is awesome omg! It’s a battle royale game, similar to Fortnite, but not really guys. Anyways, they had this really good idea to do a collaboration with international fashion sensation Bape, a global staple in the world of couture, especially in China and India. So they released Bape loot boxes in the game that would drop cosmetic items for your character identical to the real-life collaborative collection. This is so stupid. The clothing they released for the collaboration is disgusting. The Bape camo patchwork hoodie has to be my least favorite item of clothing ever released. I cannot imagine ever being stupid enough to buy it. The funniest item released in the collab though has to be the Bape frying pan, which pays homage to the popular melee weapon from the game, Pog Champ! This collaboration never should have existed. I hope I never see anything like this again. (I have my eyes on you: Louis Vuitton x League of Legends)

Number 1

Balmain x Puma

How do I even put into words how much I hate this collection. Literally, every single piece from this collaboration is disgusting. There is not a single redeeming quality. Balmain is horrendous on its own, but when you mix it with Puma it’s double trouble. The inspiration for the collection was traditional boxing colors and silhouettes. You can not tell at all though. There is no cohesiveness. Every piece seems like it was designed by a different individual. The color-blocking is awful as well. This may be the worst set of colors chosen for a collection I have ever seen. The base colors themselves are not bad, it is just the hues that Olivier Rousteing chose. He chose a mixture of black, ocean blue, raspberry red, and off-white. I urge you to look through the collection as a whole and let me know how far you make it. I hope I never see any of these pieces in person, or anything designed as poorly as this ever again.